I Am Alive

I won't lie to myself. It's stupid.

There is still you somewhere inside of me.

But it's no longer something I can have

I can't do this do myself anymore.

Hurt me. Cut me. Kill me

I won't get into my hell again.

Because I know how difficult it was

Just to decide, that I would try to get out of it.

And only I do know

How it was when I just couldn't get out of it.

I just wish that you knew nobody is all alone.

As you Always said you were.

I found somewhere to hold. And the way of not falling again.

You may find it too. So you'll can survive.

I've turned into a blade. And there is nothing I can't pass through.

But I'm still thinking about what has become of you.

Because, although it was killing me,

How many times did I do everything to make you feel well?

My hell is still in here.

But I found someone who takes me out of it.

So now,

Where am I?

Everyone has a chance. Everyone can start again.

There, at this place, only one thing is beautiful.

Sadness. In the most pure sense of it.

You have to understand that I can't bear to go there

I can't come back there anymore.

I have dreams that save me.

I'm dreaming.

And I will never stop dreaming.

I live this way now. And this is how I wanna live

Forever.

I have so many things to live for.

I have a person to live for.

I have a person to think about.

And this person makes me see

I'm alive.



Each Other's

I knew I'd never overcome this the right way.

All that love is the biggest scar in my body.

The only scar left inside of me.

And I bet the biggest in you.

I never refused to try, not with you.

How many times have I runned ou of hope?

I know everything you did for me.

I feel lost. It's true.

I have all I need now. To be happy

Everything, suporting me, helping me. The situation

Still I feel this way not hearig anything from you.

How many times did I try being what you needed?

You teached me how to live sorrounded by nothing

How to live only and for you

And I did it. I lived for you and only for you all that time.

But don't you see how much it killed me?

That's what makes me see now what is to live for me.

How many times we did tore us apart?

I faild in letting it go, letting you go.

I just wake up some day, and you show up in my mind.

Then, that day becames cold, and I feel alone

That's something you teached me really well, to feel alone.

How many times did we feel like this?

I got into the deepest hole that day.

Only one person could take me out of there.

And that made me see the light the no more existed

And I see it every day.

The life is not only what I sow. What you still see.

I want you to see it. I need you to save yourself.

How many times did I try to save you?

How many times did we save each other?

How many times did we neend each other?

How many times did we try not to be apart?

How many times did we cry because of us?

How many times did we hurt each other?

How many times did we kill, piece by piece

Each other's heart?

So many. So many times.

Inhospitable Memories

When something happends around you

Something that makes you recover all that inhospitable memories.

It reminds you of a time not long ago

Where youre dreams were killed

Where they buried you alive in some empty hollow.

The memories, they come like the fire.

You cannot run from that memories,

You cannot get rid of it.

They all surround you in the most terrifying way.

The way you feel. The way it makes you feel like.

I run from it. I'm running from it.

Still the weight is attached to my shoulders.

They say, and scream, and bring me reasons

Reasons that would make me free.

I am free. Still I'm not free at all.

I may now do as I want. As I need. As I Always needed.

You broke my heart. You killed me.

Now your memories stab me in my back as your love did.

The memories of that morbid love come alive

A love that left so many, so many scars

That you doubt if the will ever go away.

I still wonder to myself. As more that I wonder

More I feel the answer will be no.

It should not have been this way. Still
it could not be another way.

This deagraded history

It seams like it'll never come to na end.

But there is an only road

And I'm following it.
I'll follow it untill the end of this pain.